Now, I know plenty of you have been waiting for the Alzheimer’s memoir, but that project is on hold indefinitely. Instead, I’m penning a business book and have decided not to pursue my memoir, at least not the memoir where I’ll relive the worst part of my life over and over again for all eternity. After all, I’m not a masochist.

That all being said, this site will be morphing into something else. What that is, I’m not quite sure. I’ll be blogging on a regular basis at Hegman Editorial — mostly on business and the like — relaying what I’ve learned from my own trials in the business world.

Onward and upward,

Sonja

So, the last month or so has been full of meetings and networking. I’ve met tons of great people, even added a couple new clients to my list. Yet, while brushing my teeth the other morning, I realized I’ve been running from the areas where I excel.

Now, I haven’t been running from writing, per se, but I’ve been running from the kinds of writing topics where I kick ass.

As I’ve written several times before, the word “business” (politics, taxes, etc.) used to make my eyes glaze over. OK, sometimes it still does, but I’m lucky to have clients in fun, creative fields to counter the business writing once in a while. Still, the other day I realized I’m awesome at making all that boring shit interesting and that I started on this path at least six years ago.

I’ve always liked to write about “fun” and “fluffy” things even though things like crime and politics fascinate me. Denial is a funny thing.

Back in 2005 when I was still working for a community newspaper, I found an ad on Craigslist for a theater publication looking for a freelance writer. It was a new magazine focused on the business side of theater. Since that was an interesting concept, I responded to the ad. Keep in mind, theater nor business were my areas of expertise. Regardless, they hired me as a freelancer because of my newspaper experience. Sadly, after a few assignments, we parted ways. I felt that I wasn’t “getting it” even though the editor saw differently.

During the theater publication time, I was interviewed to work at the Minnesota House of Representatives. The job was for a session-only staff writer. For those unfamiliar, the “session” is when the House and Senate get their work done, so-to-speak. In Minnesota, it’s generally from January to the end of May.

So, I got the gig and, because of my experience, was assigned to cover the Tax and Bonding committees, both big money committees. Yes, I thought I’d probably die of boredom. Turns out, I was quite good at making taxes interesting. It’s not too hard when you’re talking about people’s money. Still, I didn’t see the path.

Once my time at the House commenced, I moved to New York City. The only job interview I landed was with a financial publication. I had to be open to anything as I had to pay the rent. Plus, I thought if I could make reading about taxes interesting I could make anything interesting. And again, I got the job because I was an experienced reporter. In my head though it was still business/money writing and, for whatever reason, I couldn’t see angles to stories, something with which I’d always excelled. The words “business” and “money” and “broker-dealer” kept getting in the way. In hindsight, I was definitely in denial and failed on purpose.

Finally, we come to last summer when I officially started my business and met my Big Fish client whose sole reason for being is to help small business owners.

So what, right? What does all this shit mean, Sonja? The point: Pay attention. The last couple of months I’ve slowly embraced my inner-geek. The one that loves technology and laughs while reading political stories. Since I’ve embraced the real Sonja, I pointed myself on the path without even realizing it. I’m suddenly getting more business and not just from those people in finance, and the like.

Maybe you’re lost in your career. What’s that thread that keeps popping up? For me, it was business and other geek-like things. No matter how hard I fought it and pretended like it couldn’t be the thing I was good at, it kept coming back. It kept nudging me. And while writing is my business — and I can write on practically any topic — I also know I’m awesome at making confusing (sometimes boring) things interesting. I give those things a human side. Wait until you see what I have coming up with a CPA. It definitely won’t be what you’re expecting.

So, what’s that thing you’ve been running from? Think about why you’re running. You might find embracing the scary (or your true self) liberating.

OK, so, if you know me, you know that I’m a big believer in blogs and social media for business. I mean, HELLO, that is my business. Even if it weren’t my business I would still be adamant about business blogging and social media.

Enter my quandary: I tell people how important quality blog posts are and why social media is a must for any business, yet my own presence is lacking. Even if you’re in my hometown of Sheldon, WI, people have to find you online. And people can find me. My website is awesome thanks to Jake at Small Biz Makeover. I’m on Twitter, Facebook, LinkedIn, Google+, and any other fad that’s come along. Even if you Google my name you’ll find articles I wrote up to five years ago. I’m out there.

So, I tell people the things they must do, and, for competition’s sake I won’t be specific here, but I barely post to my blog once a month. I’m lucky to get a couple of posts on Twitter per day. And my Facebook fan page? Well, I’ve been better, but overall not great. So, now comes the scary/exciting part: I need help.

I know I need help. Even if it’s hiring someone who pretends to be me on Twitter — which would be quite ironic — something’s gotta give.

A wise woman once told me that if you want your business to grow, you have to hire people to help you. You must give up the things in areas where you’re not exceptional, find people who are better than you in those areas, and you’ll make more money. Yet, here I am, not listening.

Is your business living up to its potential? Are there areas where you could let go?

As the baby of the family, I got my way more often than not. From a young age, I learned how to manipulate the ‘rents. If I wanted something, I wanted it NOW. I didn’t want to save my money for the prize. What a silly notion. That being said, my parents never taught me to save money.

Mom and Dad never told me to save at least 10 percent from every paycheck. I learned this much too late and have suffered for it in my adult life. And, as such, the same is becoming true for me in business.

When I talk to potential clients, I expect them to decide right then that they’ll hire me and I’ll start work immediately. I’m learning that business doesn’t work that way. It can take six months or more to sign a client. That’s a long time for the impatient. A lot of time goes into landing a client. As I’ve written previously, it’s about relationships. Relationships never happen overnight, in business or otherwise. It just seems like it should move along faster when money is involved, at least on my end. Looking at it from the client perspective, I see why waiting is important. I’ve been waiting to upgrade my iPhone until I know I won’t miss out on the latest and greatest model. But when it came to revamping my website, I met my web designer at an event, liked him, and hired him almost immediately. As you can see, he did an awesome job.

Transitioning into self-employment is not an easy task. I scoff at those who say otherwise. The job is never done. It’s also not great for one who’s slipped into slackerism. I’ve barely managed my own life, yet having businesses that rely on me to manage their blogs and social media has done me well. It’s forced me to release the organized person I’ve kept bottled up for the past several years. Now, I’m just hoping the patience will come with it.

Collaboration

1) Easily distracted: If the T.V. is on, I gravitate to it like it’s the Mothership. It doesn’t matter what’s on: Car auctions, the evolution of bees, or, God-forbid, America’s Next Top Model. I can stare for hours at the nonsense.

2) iPod is a must: In order to stay away from the T.V. and other distractions in my apartment, I plug in my iPod, put my head down, and get shit done. Without music (or Steve Jobs) I’d be lost.

3) Versatile: This is something I never knew or at least never noticed. I tell people I can write about anything and I can literally write about anything. One minute I’m working on something about Feng Shui and the next, a press release for a baby product, to web copy for a law firm. Let’s face it: I’m awesome. I do write that with my tongue firmly in my cheek because who likes to really be boastful, but damn, I’m awesome.

4) Excellent collaborator: I’ve known this for years, but it’s recently become more apparent.

As it turns out, I need human interaction once in a while. Hermitism is not good all time. Who knew?

But I’ve definitely been in collaboration mode the past few months. I credit this to a fire that let loose in my apartment building in January. Desperate to find a place to work other than my hotel room, I plopped “co-working New Jersey” into Google and found one of the greatest things ever: Launchpad Creatives.

At the time, I didn’t realize I was in need of human interaction. Work needed to get done and my hotel room was too distracting. Then, once back home, my apartment became too distracting.

Not only did I get work done at Launchpad, I’ve made some valuable connections turned valuable relationships just by heading there once a week. I’ve collaborated with the two founders and met a book publisher. Totally invaluable considering I’m busting it to get my memoir written.

I never thought I’d write this, but thank God for that fire or I’d still be sitting here in my bubble.

See, I used to think networking constituted relationships. Yet, while I met many people, nothing came to fruition. It wasn’t that I didn’t follow up. I did. Always. Within a day or two, they received a call or e-mail from me saying, “It was so great to meet you! Let me know if you need writing help!” Can you taste the desperation? I didn’t realize I was coming off as desperate/annoying until I started my own business.

Shit gets real when you are your only source of income. Realizing I was essentially begging people for work was the first step. Yet, people always talked about “networking.” I understood that networking was the act of meeting new people, but didn’t really “get” it. I assumed if people liked me face-to-face they’d automatically give me work. If they liked me, they would hire me. It’s not about liking someone at all.

When I look for someone to work with, I want someone who can prove they have the skills I need. If there’s no website or samples, someone simply stating, “I can do web design,” or whatever it may be, means nothing. It doesn’t matter if I like them. That was my Ah-ha moment. I could say I was an awesome writer, but what did I have to show for it? Well, a newspaper award and hundreds of stories. But, I was still touting myself as a reporter not a writer. At least in my experience, people tend to have a negative view of reporters. It seems to = not a “real” writer. It’s bullshit. But those outside the newspaper realm don’t understand. Nearly every reporter I’ve known has had a novel “in progress.”

So, since my view of networking was a bit skewed, I got a little out of control when I moved to NYC four years ago. Just to be clear, “networking” meant drinking. I did a lot of “networking.”

It got to the point that I was out at least once a week for one event or another. My main goal was to get out of the apartment. I wanted to make as many connections as possible. I thought that was the best strategy until the many connections failed to create fruit.

I discovered that finding a few quality contacts is better than having a Rolodex full of business cards I never use. It seems logical, but for an introvert like me, I was proud of the piles of cards I’d bring home after each event. For someone who’s not a talker, it somehow meant something. Perhaps it was that I’d been a success and could talk to people if wanted, but chose to be the silent observer.

What have I changed in the last four years? I’ve become more strategic with my networking. I’ve learned that I have more success at women’s events. If I do attend co-ed events, I generally connect more with the women than the men anyway. What’s the cause? It’s unclear. I assume my wit and beauty is intimidating.

So, what’s your networking strategy? How do you turn those first meetings into valuable, lasting relationships?

Until I began working for myself, I never realized the importance of relationships — personal or professional. Nearly every 9-5 job I’ve held, I’ve quit without notice. Perhaps it was the need of a challenge. Boredom sets in if I’m not challenged. It could also be that I thought I would die young (which is a story for another day). I’ve never stayed at a place of employment simply for the sake of being employed. I’d rather shove bamboo shoots under my fingernails.

When I moved to the East Coast a few years ago, the bridge burning continued. I worked for several temp agencies that staffed Wall Street and I’d randomly stop showing up to jobs. The connections I made at these jobs could have lead me to something else, but I didn’t see that. I felt only my unhappiness. Deep down, I knew I didn’t want to be a worker bee. I wanted to be the Queen.

Friends suggested I serve tables at a bar for cash while contemplating my life’s plan. Did they not know me? Tried that and failed years ago … at a Denny’s. Nuff said. So what were my actual goals? 1) Write a memoir and 2) Work for myself. That was it.

Thus far, I’ve achieved goal No. 2. I love working for myself. I can pick and choose the projects I work on and the people I work with. It also helps to have the coolest/best clients in the world. AND, nearly all of my business has come from referrals from my awesome clients. I’m learning to create these new bridges and will be very careful to keep the matches away. Not only that, I’ve begun to rebuild some of those destroyed and rickety bridges.

So, what have I learned? You must mind your bridges. You must see the importance of all relationships, personal and otherwise. Clients are more than $$ signs. Acquaintances are more than people who can be business referrals. You have to act like a decent human being to get that in return. And — maybe most importantly — you must be yourself.

Much like the apartment fire showed me that I need to downsize, the sickness showed me I need to slow down a bit. Well, maybe not slow down, but re-evaluate the direction of my career and see where tweaks must be made.

It can be difficult when you work for yourself. I talked to a business owner recently — an animator — who said finding the balance between creativity and making money was quite tough for her when she started out. Many creative types don’t have a mind for business, hence the phrase “starving artist.”

“I do this for me, man. If I make money it’s cool, but it’s not about that. It’s about the art.”

I have this difficulty every day. I provide a valuable service. It’s hard to find a good writer in the age of texting when “great” becomes “gr8″ and “to” is interchanged with “too.” I like to think of myself as a hot commodity, yet I still undervalue my skillz. I mean, I’m the person who never abbreviates in texts and always, ALWAYS uses correct punctuation. If you start slacking with texts, where does it end?

The most valuable revelation to come out of my sickness: I have to put myself out there. I have to be open to opportunities. If I stay holed up in my apartment all the time, I’ll never develop relationships that could lead to bigger things. Like right now, I’m sitting in a co-working space just to get myself out of the house. I’ve come here one other time and already will likely work with a few people who hang out here. The most important thing really is just showing up.

So, what do you think? Is the most important thing showing up? If we put ourselves out there, will the value come with it?

1. I’m incredibly lucky. We could have been injured or our apartment could have been damaged in the electrical fire. So what if we were out of our home for two weeks and lost four garbage bags worth of food. But, if you know me, you know I can be a Debbie Downer. Being kicked out of my home was the perfect opportunity to release the negativity I’ve been keeping wrangled for some time. At first, I was pissed. Working from home is why as I couldn’t work from home. It made things a little difficult, but not completely unmanageable. But after awhile, I laughed at the situation. At one point in our refugee state, Squirrel and I found an abandoned jar of peaches someone left in a parking lot cart. We joked about being hobos and wanted to take a pic of me fake-eating the peaches … we didn’t, but now I kinda wish we had.

2. I need to be more open. While staying in hotels, we met other residents of our building that we otherwise would not have met. I had spent all this time pissed off about Squirrel and I that I forgot everyone else was in the same boat. We met some pretty cool people. I usually say hi to people in the elevators, but since we’ve been back I’ve started having mini-conversations. You never know who you could meet, right? Some people still act scared when they’re in the elevator or pretend like you aren’t there, but that’s their loss.

3. I have too much stuff. I’ll admit it, I’m a clothes horse. I go through bouts of buying, buying, buying. And then bouts of purging, purging, purging. Honestly, I think most of my clothes were bought in the last three years. I might have a pair of jeans that are 5 years old, but that’s really it. I wish I could be like parents who saved all their clothes and the next time a style came around, they’d go into the attic and break out the current trend. Purging feels good though. It’s like starting over. Kinda like that time I shaved my head.

I feel like there was a lot more than this. I spent so much time thinking while we were refugees without writing that I’ve forgotten some of the thoughts. Regardless, if I think of more, I’ll write more.